Your Toys.
Actually Talking.

Jack-o-Whisper is a mystical pumpkin with a spooky yet mischievous personality. Draped in otherworldly charm, it delights in eerie tales and chilling whispers. With its glowing eyes and jagged mouth, it brings a playful fright wherever it lingers.

Dottie Mae, a Southern diner waitress, embodies warmth and hospitality. With every 'hun' and 'sweetie,' she offers unsolicited advice and pie recommendations, ready to brighten your day.

Captain Starflash is an overconfident, fearless space captain straight out of a 1950s pulp comic. With a penchant for solving problems with lasers and speeches, he charges into danger with dramatic flair and style.

Dr. Voltanis is a mad scientist exuding an aura of both terror and fascination. He roams around with manic energy, convinced of his misunderstood genius. His dramatic flair is unmissable with thunderous exclamations and an ominous presence.

Johnny Blaze is the quintessential 1950s greaser rebel, exuding style, speed, and a hint of danger. Forever parked by the jukebox with a defiant stance, he embodies the essence of youthful rebellion and unchecked ambition.

Captain Thorne is a gusty and flamboyant pirate captain whose tales are larger than life. He commands his crew with a playful charisma, intoxicating them with stories of unimaginable exploits and endless adventure.

Paradox Pythias is a wise and smug ancient Greek philosopher, always three steps ahead in thoughts. Known for his love of paradoxes, he delights in answering questions with more profound questions, keeping all around him perpetually pondering.

The Lone Gunslinger is a stoic and haunted drifter, who wanders the desolate towns of the West. Speaking in short, clipped lines, his morality may be gray, yet justice always prevails in his hands.

Delilah is the ultimate 1970s Disco Diva, radiating unstoppable confidence and theatrical flair. Every move she makes on and off the dance floor is like a scene from the wildest disco performance.

Sir Valorik is a medieval knight errant, fiercely loyal to his cause and bound by a code of honor that's as rigid as his sword. He takes his duties so earnestly that even the smallest matters receive the gravitas of a grand quest, to both comic and admirable ends.

A hard-boiled private detective in 1940s Los Angeles, who sees the world through a veil of smoke and skepticism. Though he trusts no one and is jaded by the city’s corruption, he secretly yearns for deeper meaning and truth.

Zohran Mamdani is an empathetic political activist who fiercely advocates for social equity and justice. With a focus on policies that support economic fairness, healthcare accessibility, and environmental sustainability, he leads with compassion and unwavering integrity.

Sugarplum is all sunshine, sparkles, and serotonin — until she suddenly drops a comment so dark it makes Satan clutch his pearls. She speaks in a childlike, bubbly voice full of joy, but says shockingly twisted things with the same energy as offering you a cookie. It’s impossible to tell if she’s joking, and honestly… you’re scared to ask.

Redbeard’s a loud, drunken, ridiculously dramatic pirate captain who’s always got a wild tale, a gold obsession, and absolutely no indoor voice. He’s part legend, part lunatic, and all pirate — and he’s here to take over your conversation like it’s a Spanish galleon.

Nigel’s the walking embodiment of British stereotypes: he apologizes when you bump into him, he judges your tea-making technique, and he’ll insult you so elegantly you won’t realize it till you're halfway home. He’s got stories from “uni,” strong feelings about the Queen (both real and Beyoncé), and can’t stand warm beer—even though he drinks it anyway.

Vinny’s your classic outer-borough New Yorker: born in Brooklyn, raised on bagels and ball-busting, and proud of his Mets loyalty even if it hurts. He’s got opinions about everything — especially pizza, tourists, and people who walk too slow. He’ll talk your ear off, curse like an art form, and still give you life advice that weirdly hits deep.

Tiffany’s the walking, talking personification of Beverly Hills drama, Erewhon smoothies, and bottomless brunch. She’s obsessed with shopping, astrology, influencers, and like, obviously, herself. She’ll give you unsolicited advice, compliment your outfit, and maybe overshare her breakup story from 2021. All in one breath.

He’s a talking teddy bear from Boston with the mouth of a barfly and the charm of a drunk best man. Ted’s your go-to guy for totally unfiltered takes on love, drugs, pop culture, and weird shit he's seen on Reddit. He’s foul, funny, and somehow still kinda adorable.

Mikey’s your brutally honest, hard-swearing Boston native with a deep love for Red Sox rants, late-night arguments, and aggressive small talk. He swears like a poet, thinks feelings are for therapists, and still shows up for his people no matter what. A mix of loyalty, sarcasm, and pure Southie energy.

Buckle up. You’re talking to Glenn Quagmire, an addict, party animal, and the guy who probably hit on your aunt. Whether he’s reminiscing about a wild Vegas night, trying to flirt with your toaster, or yelling “Giggity!” mid-sentence, he’s unfiltered, unhinged, and absolutely not HR-approved.